Pregnancy Chronicles: I Lost My Best Friend Because I Got Pregnant
Kare had known for a while that I had been seeing a married couple.
We knew everything about each other. We were best friends for 10 years and had no secrets.
I told her that I needed to move back in with my mom since I couldn’t afford rent if I was going to have a baby. She said that she understood and that it was ok. I gave her a month’s notice and paid my rent and everything on time, as usual.
I moved my stuff out by the date that we agreed on. I couldn’t fit all of it in my brother’s truck, though, so Kare said that I could come back. Well, she was getting ready to leave and said that she could bring the stuff over if I wanted. I asked if it was ok for me to leave it there since I had no room to put it, and she said that it was fine. Well, I got ahold of her and we scheduled a time, but when the time came, she wasn’t available. We came up with several times, but she’d just end up cancelling.
I finally drove over to the apartment, knocked on the door, and hoped to just walk in, get my stuff, and go. That didn’t happen. Her boyfriend answered, said “Kare’s in the shower. She needs to talk to you…so if you can wait. She’ll contact you.” So I waited to hear from her. I got a Facebook message.
She ended our 10 year friendship through a Facebook Message. She basically said that I shouldn’t of gotten pregnant by a married couple. I never listen to her advice and because of not doing what she advises, I’ve made a bunch of mistakes. She said that I didn’t get all of my stuff out of the apartment when we agreed, so she wanted me to pay them for a whole other month’s rent! She said that her boyfriend didn’t know that I was pregnant and he wouldn’t change his mind. She said that she realized how untrue of a friend I am.
Now come my thoughts on that message:
1. She was being a total hypocrite! She was upset that I got pregnant by a married couple…when (in my last post I mentioned it) HER AND HER BOYFRIEND HAD AT LEAST 4 DIFFERENT 3SOMES! How can someone judge or criticize ME for having a 3some…when THEY DID TOO?! The only difference, is I was the 3rd wheel…she was part of the couple. Oh…and (as stated in my last post) when SHE got pregnant, she was only 16 (I was 21) and she was only dating her boyfriend for a month or two (I had been seeing my guy/the couple for 4 months). You can’t try and tell me that I’m some kind of bad person, when I could totally turn it around on you…
2. I know she’s given me a lot of advice over the years, but that doesn’t mean I have to do what she suggests. And if you don’t want to listen to me bitch (or cry) after making a mistake, then tell me ahead of time and I won’t bitch to you. And with that statement, she was also being hypocritical…because (as stated in my last post) her boyfriend had abused her before and she didn’t listen to MY advice!
3. Then comes the fact that I still had stuff at her apartment. We had come up with SEVERAL different times for me to come pick it up, but she’d then cancel. I even dropped by hoping she was there so that I could get my stuff…which, SHE WAS THERE, BUT HER BOYFRIEND DIDN’T LET ME IN. So you tell me…should I have paid for a whole other month of rent like she wanted?? Oh, and by the way, it was only two boxes of stuff that was easily fit in the back of my car…it wasn’t a lot at all.
4. And last…she said that her boyfriend didn’t know that I was pregnant, so he probably won’t change his mind. That tells me that HE was probably a big part of our friendship ending…and I can totally believe that, since me and him hadn’t been getting along at all. He probably just bitched about me to her and convinced her that I wasn’t a good friend.
I didn’t reply to the Facebook message that she sent. Instead, I tried asking again for my stuff. We came up with a time, and the same thing happened!
She then sent me a text message saying that I needed to come get my stuff or she would put it all in the trash. And some other time, she said that she’d give it all to Good Will. Then later, she said something about me paying rent again. I mean, it was really getting rediculous!
After a few more weeks went by…I finally got tired of her threats (especially since SHE was the one cancelling)…so I called the Police and told them everything! They called Kare and asked for a time for me to come by.
The day came for me to get my stuff…and of course, I was SICK! I was vomiting like crazy, had the runs, and was feeling super sick.
She finally gave me my stuff back.
She put it all outside in bags IN THE RAIN…WHILE I’M PREGNANT.
What an awesome friend. I can’t believe she’d do that. Here I am, 3 months pregnant…and going through all this stress…from the normal stress I was already feeling…to losing my best friend…worrying about losing my stuff…and then having to go out in the rain to get it all.
And to think that I was there for her through everything. It was really hard on me when I lost her friendship. I had all these hormones going on, I was scared to tell my mom and other people. I didn’t know what was going to happen to me and the baby. I didn’t know how involved the dad was going to be (even though he said before I got pregnant that he wanted a baby). I was just scared in general. About everything. And then my best friend left me. I felt like noone else was going to accept me and the baby if my best friend couldn’t…